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Brown

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White

Yellow

Blue

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That's right, we at shortcutFoo thought we should involve a fanboy stereotype from the late 1940's. Because we're thought leaders. Put that in your pipe and blog it!

Propeller Hat

You're official now! Officially in a butt ton of debt. Turns out a $200k degree in 20th century Turkish literature wasn't a great idea. Thanks for nothing, Yaşar Kemal.

Graduation Cap

There are generaly only two kinds of people who wear berets: special forces solders and mimes. To find a large group of either outside your house is a terrifying thought.

Beret

Police Hat

This hat lets people know you're rough and tumble. You know how to handle yourself in a fight, you can make a fire, and you get what you want. Or you're in the Village People.

Cowboy Hat

Do you like efficiency and Mariachi music? Then this is the hat for you! If you don't like Mariachi music we can't be friends. "Guadalajara Guadalajaraaaaaaaaa!!!"

Sombrero

We both know that last night you ate a dinner of cold pizza and peanut butter, and with no pants on. But today you're a person of class and distinction!

Top Hat

Who's the cutest? Is it you? Are you the cutest? Yes you are. You're the custest! I wanna snuggle your face.

Bear Hat

When you think about it, the engineering challenges which go into inventing a Jet Pack pale in comparison to the engineering challenges of not lighting your pants on fire with it.

Jet Pack

Like the shoes, not the awesome movie from 1992. Man that movie was cool. And River Phoenix was soooo cool. I'm totally going to re-watch that tonight.

Sneakers

Why flip flops? Because you don't care - and people should know that.

Flip Flops

Did you know that white socks and sandals make you physically irresistible? It's true. They're so effective that they look as been outlawed in 28 countries. Google it.

Sandals

When your boss starts talking, and clearly doesn't know what he or she is talking about, you'll need these to wade through it all.

Rubber Boots

Very intimidating! It tells your enemy, "You can defeat me in battle, but you'll never take my self respect. Because I clearly don't have any."

Slippers

The Geta is the only type of shoe you're allowed to wear if you're in the two lowest divisions of Sumo wrestling. I don't know why that fact is in my head. But it's in yours now too. So I feel better about it.

Geta

These boots were made for coding. And that's just what they'll do. One of these days these boots are gonna improve algorithmic efficiency such that resource requirements will be inversely related to output... all over you.

Boots

Yeah. You look good. You know it. We know it. Go get it.

High Heels

The word Nunchuck comes from an ancient Chinese word which means "sticks for pummeling one's own groin."

Nunchucks

You shouldn't have picked these. Our insurer doesn't cover them as they are "a grossly dangerous and irresponsible choice." You poke your eye out and you're on your own.

Kamas

Seriously, who came up with these?! They look really really unsafe. Try not to hurt yourself.

Double Knives

What are you looking at tree?! You wanna start something? I didn't think so. Keep walking. I SAID KEEP WALKING TREE!

Axes

Great for dispatching your foes! Or roasting 3 times as many things over a fire. Mmmm... Sai hotdogs...

Sais

I know what you're thinking. He's not holding these correctly. I'll let you in on a little secret: he's not the sharpest sword in the Dojo, if you know what I mean

Hook Swords

A formidable weapon. Also voted most likely to accidentally take off your toes.

Guandao

Wow, those are big swords. These are not the weapons of a person with a sound mind. These are a crazy person's weapon. If you saw someone with these on the street you'd run away.

Broadswords

Right... like you need two of these. That's reasonable. I'm sending your name to local law enforcement. We're worried about you.

Katanas

You wanna fight? I can handle myself. I've watched a lot of youtube videos - which kinda makes me an expert.